Lord of the Flies~Journal Entry #2

Chapter: Responsibility VS. Leader
Jack’s Journal

This morning, I woke up with a feeling of officiousness. I had a feeling we were going to get swept off of this island any minute. I knew we had to send out some signal if an airplane swept over us. We would have to do it soon, and if no one brought anything up about it, forget trying to making the young boys like me. I would have to make a recrimination.
The eagerness I felt this morning must have been felt through the other boys, too. At the meeting we had this morning, Ralph had the same idea I had. I could have been the leader…I should have been the leader. The way to do that would be to make the others fearful of me, just like my own group. It couldn’t be done today, though, because at the meeting Ralph had my same idea, and he knew how to conduct it.
His idea was brilliant, but I still think I should be the leader, or at least take on more responsibility. We started to plan immediately; making a fire on the mountain so the airplane would see it. I would have done a way better job at it because we couldn’t even find firewood. So, knowing that, I decided we would do Plan B: take on more responsibility. I decided to be in charge of the fire and look out for boats and airplanes.
This plan was flawed from the very beginning; not knowing where to find firewood. I knew the plan wouldn’t work, I would have thought of a better idea than that if I were leader. I thought of pinching Piggy’s specks before Ralph did, too. I should be the leader! I went along with the plan anyway because I didn’t have a better idea. I can’t believe I let us go through with it, but at least we have more responsibility now.
At a meeting later on, this shy kid said he saw a “beasty” at night. I believed him all along, and it turned out I was right and Ralph was wrong, once again. I still didn’t say anything, though. I played along, but then I guess the weird looking shy kid disappeared, we all assumed he was out capering in the woods near the fire, and the fire was right where we suspected he was. I knew the idea was flawed all along, I should have said something. I’m always right about that kind of thing, it’s me natural instinct.
I knew I had a martyred expression at the later meeting, and I kind of hoped Ralph would see it. Maybe he would give up his positions for me, even though it was highly unlikely. I still hope he will, and I will still take on more responsibility. I should be the leader.